Frowning Street

They say a drowning man rises three times before he goes down for good.

I think Mr Blunkett is on his third time.

But new for Christmas, is the game of 'Blind Man's Blunkett' (available at all good toyshops and parliaments )

The players are blindfolded, and presented with 10 children, each of whom must be identified using only hands.

If you work in the Cabinet, you don't have to wait your turn, and can change the rules of the game to suit yourself.

I tried to cash a cheque in Barclays bank yesterday.

But none of the pens were working. You know, the pens that are attached to the little black plastic things that you are supposed to use.

They havn't been working for months. I asked the staff about this in June, and they said 'we know, we are waiting for some refills'.

The problem is, do you really want to bank with an organisation that cannot even order some pens?

I asked the FSA about this, and they didn't care. Apparently Barclays are really good at banking and the FSA is quite happy with their competence.

I'm not, so I withdrew £3000 and put it in my mattress. I think it's safer there.

Meanwhile, the Manager of the Branch (you know who you are, you have a silly little thingy on your head) is doing his jigsaw puzzle with his other members of staff.

After all, I'm only the client.

And you are not a bank.

Maybe I'll start my own bank (I was so unimpressed I started a better company).

The Laundry Bank -- washes your money whiter than white.

ps: If Barclays don't raise their game I will start a campaign to get people to move their accounts. Mr Branson will agree that this is a good idea.